What seems like a million years ago now on this day I was married. I was lucky enough to find myself surrounded by family and friends who adored me and I adored. The day before there had been a sudden downpour that soaked the lawn and gave rise to fears my wedding and reception were going to be a total wash out. It was July in Southern California. It really doesn't rain in July. Have to love foreshadowing.
Nobody protested at the proper point in the wedding so I found myself married. The family reception back at my folks was a huge sprawling full house and most of the block party. I was wearing a hand made silk dress that my Aunt had made for me in San Fransisco. I had the traditional old, borrowed, new and blue. I am told I was radiant. Naturally tears happened at the reception. I found out my other Aunt had a secret...her mother had just passed. I loved her mom whole heartedly. But still the reception went on. I left with my groom and went off into the sunset to stay at a very nice upscale La Jolla hotel for the night.
Life shortly there after went horribly sideways. My groom had a few secrets of his own he'd kept involving his fondness for alcohol and drugs. Four months later I was sobbing and out the door. I didn't stop loving him I just didn't see how I could live with him. We didn't part angry we just parted.
Now and then I thought of him but not in any way that made me want to look him up or even find out if he was happy. I had made my way in life and considered the 'starter' marriage as just that. My folks still refer to the major reception afterwards as 'that hell of a party'. Yesterday for some odd reason his name kept pushing into my brain. His full name. His birthday. Stuff I hadn't even thought I remembered. Lunch time I googled it just on a lark because today would have been an anniversary. I expected to find links to a Facebook page with either tons of photos of his present day family - kids and such with a dog or a page full of rock and roll band stuff (we'd been in bands on and off during time together). Even a link to a corporate professional site was playing through my mind.
Instead I found out he passed away October 2, 2005. Eight years ago. There was no mistake from the information I saw, his brother and sister mentioned and his various homes. I hadn't a clue. I still don't quite know what I am feeling. RIP my dear. I hope you are safe at home.
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