Sorrowful weekend

My family had the passing of one of my absolute favorite folks.  My Uncle Pete who has had Alzheimers for the past decade broke his hip six or seven weeks ago and was healing okay up until two weeks ago.  Then he had some digestive issues and stopped eating.  From there it was just time ticking until he stopped.  He went through the Korean war.  During which he'd been talked into the 'intelligence' side of the war and was captured and tortured.  Healing for him took him out to the Anzo-Borrego Desert for a number of years.  He was my mom's friend from the time she was 18 or 19...hence "uncle" in name and heart not blood.  He carried me home from the hospital and nicknamed me Lady.  I was called that for years.  When my older brother and I were young my mom would want to escape the Los Angeles grind and her two smaller children.  We'd drive out to the desert and visit Uncle Pete. 

Years later I found out he was suffering some traumas from the war and we kids pulled him home.  He used to walk us towards the mountains in the early morning hours and we never made it (the desert is huge and the mountains always looked much closer than they were).  Took us up to Palm Springs to play in the snow...in the summer.  I remember riding in the gondola as it went up and loving it.  I was maybe five or six years old.  Always felt safe with him.  He married my mom's best friend further cementing the links.

In high school I was offered jobs from careers with alphabets for names (think about it) and he told me he'd block any and all attempts for me to head into those jobs.  He did.  Thus a writer was born.  Still he would talk to my older brother and I about slices of his life - stuff most folks don't share.  Both my older brother and I were offered more jobs in those alphabet fields and he wanted us to know the real versus the made-for-TV special.  We both skipped it but still ended up in jobs at time where we had to have clearances.  To this day I wonder how the officials handled our background checks. 

He will be always missed and always in my heart.

Crazy Lazy Dayz

Time folds in on itself without any interference from me. Working with specific time frames intensify the effect.  I can't believe it's nearly half way through July.  I could've sworn it was just November and I was doing NaNoWriMo. 

Haven't blogged much lately because the crazy part is how much work I am doing.  I am the 'face' of an entire new purchase of towers in April.  I am the 'go to' person who hasn't got a clue at times where I am heading.  Because of this I tend to hit the ground sputtering and printing out explanations.  'No, we really don't need to charge back $12,000 to the old company because the bank bounced stuff - it will screw up the works.' Said nicely and naively as if I am hesitant because I'm talking with one of the main directors five levels above my pay grade.  I go back to consult him on something a bit later and he parrots back what I told him as if it was his 'thought'.  Such is the life of the busy little drone bees. 

The lazy part has been my weekends.  Since my laptop still isn't fixed I am getting out and swimming and reading in the sunny afternoons.  Mornings usually are the laundry/shopping/general mucking around the house stuff but by one or two a few of my friends have been showing up with appetizers, bottles of wine and tales.  Some I read to them and others they are telling me about the latest bits of their lives.  The summer is half over and I am amazed at how it detoured completely off the track.

Still catching up with my writing schedule.  Not having my laptop at home is making me structure my writing time more than I am used to but I have had some fun ideas I've been working into The Complex. 

Eve of memories

For me certain holidays have memories that I never erase.  They become layered over time with newer images and thoughts like a double exposed piece of film.  Back when I used a dark room with family and friends I became somewhat fixated on the process of deliberately double exposing a piece of films to cause specific effects.  The ghostly images of people crossed with scenery or stark emptiness colored in various shades of gray captured my mind. 

That is how my thoughts are near holidays.  Driving through the desert on the way to Reno with my family and in the distance all the fireworks.  We drove into towns that littered the way that were completely deserted as if the occupants had all be snatched up.  The music in the distance wherever the town was gave off a feeling that everyone had gone.  Those images forever haunting the holiday for me.  The writer mind already spinning the magical thought, "What if...."

Massive firework display in the sky overhead while a band played fusion jazz on the stage.  My friend and I wandering amidst the scattered picnic blankets and people quaffing wine while softly talking.  The back drop of the ocean and the wind picking up the scents of briny deep mingling with coconut oil, clove cigarettes and Taboo perfume.  Then the heavier percussion of the fireworks as the wind shifted and the scent of burning.  A misfire by the pyrotechnic 'experts' and suddenly the lovely evening was interrupted with screams and hysteria as it began literally raining fire.  My heart racing as my friend and tried to make it back to her car while avoiding stampeding people and bits of red embers. 

Sitting on the edge of a canyon overlooking the fairgrounds in pitch black.  Swatting lazily at mosquitoes that nibbled at me.  The aroma of Off that wasn't working along with the local chaparral odor.  A thick scent of pine, manzanita and odd bits and pieces of brush that drifted up from the canyon floor.  Sitting on the sandstone cliff with my feet hanging off into the nothingness that was below.  Bursting lights a mile or so away at eye level.  A brush of a hand over mine - a friend?  An unknown male trying to catch my attention while I gazed with flutters in my stomach wondering who was he?  Did he live here?  Yet, I was too shy to talk and just took the casual hand trailing gently down my arm in the dark. 

Walking over to a friend's house and going up nearly to the top of the building to watch the pier light up with bursts of light.  Oohing and ahhing in time laughing while the sky is lit up with red, blue and purple always ending with the traditional red, white and blue no matter how long the show lasts.  Seeing the boats in the water of the Atlantic having an ocean view of the display.  Knowing now one of the faces in the crowd I used to share the balcony with is no longer alive.

So goes the layering of my memories of the 4th.

Half a year gone

Working like I do I am constantly keeping track of time.  Due dates, processes that have to be done with specific time frames and such like. But still every now and then I look at the actual date and go "whoa!"

My company expanded again.  I don't know yet what that will mean to my job since every time we expand my job is redefined.  Oh well.

Supposed to be nicely warm (understatement fracken hot is actually what I heard) this weekend.  Sunny days ahead.

Debby on the move

I doubt Debby is going to do 'Deerfield' as my sister-in-law and brother took great pleasure in messaging me.  The skies are gray and filled with bothersome ugly clouds that do nothing to drop the air temperature but rather increase the mosquito population and the dripping humidity.  June Gloom is a West Coast phenomena while here it just gets 'mucky' for the lack of a better word.  But see here everything is air conditioned.  The much lauded Pacific Coast breeze is the only A/C I had most of my life and when the winds weren't blowing it was hot.  I appreciate the A/C and don't whine too much when the power bill shows up. 

Work has been hectic because of my company's growing pains.  We've gone from a medium sized company a few years ago to a rapidly growing company.  In the past year we've outgrown the three story building and taken over space in one building next door and later this summer the one across the street.  That's some serious growth when you consider over half the cubes in my cube farm were empty two years ago.  They had our division meeting last Friday and unbeknownst to me I got my 'one year' plaque.  Note I started working here July of 2010.  You do the math. 

I have been writing in the early morning hours and during lunches lately because my vampires are hungry.  With all the work changes and 'growth' there's been a bit of pressure (anyone who knows me realizes I understate rather severely at times).  The directors don't want any overtime but still we are expected to get it all done.  We do but it means we work way too quickly at times.  My team is pretty cool.  We've ironed out the kinks and support each other.  To me that's the best part of my job.  But the tensions of the time constraints means my writing keeps me sane.  Okay relatively sane...why lie?

It's funny how I tend to write under pressure to release the pressure of work.  Writing gives me a kick and lifts my spirit.  Even while my vampires are tearing out throats and pinning vampires up against the mats.  No they aren't suddenly doing the WWF but at times I wonder if I should toss one of my vampires into the ring. 

Hope you all are well.

Day breaking

The one thing this side of the globe has going for it besides no state income tax is that we don't get a marine layer like the West Coast.  Not much fog unless I'm around the golf courses (for some reason they seem to get more than swamp lands at time - I'd hazard a guess overwatering?).

Still working too much and not writing enough.  The laptop still isn't fixed but I haven't been actively trying to fix it.  After dumping nearly a grand into new tires I don't need to get 'bad news' and have to start saving for new puter - denial is such a lovely riverside walk.  May be out west in a few weeks.  I will see if that spins on course this weekend. 

Growl

I am taking mental health day tomorrow.  It's been a brutal week and I figure this may be my last chance for a while to get away.  So naturally my laptop did the blue screen of death last night.  I need to now spend time fixing THAT.  *growl*

Oh 83 at 6:30 am and probably hitting 90 by night.  Even air conditioning doesn't cut through the humidity some days.